JOKES FROM GANESH'S GALLERY

Though I was computer illiterate, but these people take the cake.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “press any key” to “press return key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “any” key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen an hitting the “send” key.
4. Yet another, Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked, His chilled cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water! And soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “Bad and an invalid”. The tech explains that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personality.
6. A Confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn’t find the printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing 6+3happened”. The “food pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer didn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked, “what happened when she pressed the power button?” she asked, “what power button?”
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. “I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said ti put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn’t even fir it in…” theuser5 hadn’t realized that “Insert Disk 2” implied to remove Disk first.
10. A story from a Novel Net Wire SysOp: CALLER “Hello, is this Tech Support?”

TECH: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?”

CALLER: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.”

TECH: “Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it’s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?”

CALLER: “It came with my computer. I didn’t know anything about a promotional. It just has 4X on it.”

At this point, the tech rep had to mute the caller because he couldn’t stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive

11. A woman called the cannon help desk with a problem with her printer. This tech asked her if she was “running it under windows.” The women responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The girl sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and her printer is working fine.”

S.Ganesh / II EEE